Lesson #64
I am my own toughest critic
I don't think of myself as someone with poor self esteem. I do however have some perfectionistic tendencies that often result in some self-judgement. I know in my heart I am a good mom. I love my kids obviously but I also try every day to provide a loving, fun, educational environment. That being said, I don't usually feel like I have a handle on things.
On a typical day, I feel like I am merely managing chaos. I don't shy away from taking my kids out in public, despite how crazy they can act around others. It is always a toss up as to whether I will leave some place feeling utterly embarrassed.
I thought I was in pretty good shape yesterday as I took my two older kids to the grocery store. The two-year-old is usually a lose canon on this type of errand. I thought I had it made with Max and Zoey along to get supplies for an upcoming party.
The entire time we were in the store I was frazzled. They both kept bringing me items that we "must have" for the BBQ. Further, they were intentionally trying to out-silly the other one: silly voices, running up and down the aisles, playing hide and seek.
By the time we got up to the check out, I was at the end of my rope. They were all over the place. Mainly they were just acting silly but it was the last thing I needed trying to make sure we had remembered everything.
I started to apologize for how they were acting but the cashier wasn't having it. "They are just being kids. You can tell they come from a happy home and that is all that matters. "
When I stopped to think about these words, they really made me take a step back. They were just acting like kids. They were actually making a very boring errand into a fun outing. It was my own fear of how others might perceive their "out of control behavior" that had me feeling frustrated. Obviously there is a time and a place for this kind of behavior. All in all, I realize that I need to worry less about how others perceive my parenting and worry more about how I feel about the job I am doing.
I am my own toughest critic
I don't think of myself as someone with poor self esteem. I do however have some perfectionistic tendencies that often result in some self-judgement. I know in my heart I am a good mom. I love my kids obviously but I also try every day to provide a loving, fun, educational environment. That being said, I don't usually feel like I have a handle on things.
On a typical day, I feel like I am merely managing chaos. I don't shy away from taking my kids out in public, despite how crazy they can act around others. It is always a toss up as to whether I will leave some place feeling utterly embarrassed.
I thought I was in pretty good shape yesterday as I took my two older kids to the grocery store. The two-year-old is usually a lose canon on this type of errand. I thought I had it made with Max and Zoey along to get supplies for an upcoming party.
The entire time we were in the store I was frazzled. They both kept bringing me items that we "must have" for the BBQ. Further, they were intentionally trying to out-silly the other one: silly voices, running up and down the aisles, playing hide and seek.
By the time we got up to the check out, I was at the end of my rope. They were all over the place. Mainly they were just acting silly but it was the last thing I needed trying to make sure we had remembered everything.
I started to apologize for how they were acting but the cashier wasn't having it. "They are just being kids. You can tell they come from a happy home and that is all that matters. "
When I stopped to think about these words, they really made me take a step back. They were just acting like kids. They were actually making a very boring errand into a fun outing. It was my own fear of how others might perceive their "out of control behavior" that had me feeling frustrated. Obviously there is a time and a place for this kind of behavior. All in all, I realize that I need to worry less about how others perceive my parenting and worry more about how I feel about the job I am doing.
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