Lesson #62

Let your kids be the teacher

Do I have a hidden desire to learn about the ins and outs of Minecraft? Do I secretly love building Lego cities? Not really. But these are my six-year-old's priorities. He is so passionate about creating his computerized hideouts and villages on Minecraft and is always adding to his elaborate Lego creations. He generally likes doing these activities independently but will sometimes ask me to participate. I don't always feel like I have the time or energy to fake an interest but it is important to him to show me his hobbies.

As I was sitting with him today as the other kids napped, I realized that these moments will not likely exist in a few short years. He will soon be annoyed by my presence and avoid spending time with me. My hope is that my taking an interest in his hobbies now, maybe he will be more likely to share things with me as the years pass by. For now, I know I need to relish these moments and give him the enthusiasm that he craves. He loves teaching me about his favorite activities and I need to take these opportunities to be the student.

Lesson #61

Hugs can heal

When dealing with a serious illness, it is easy to get bogged down in all of the details and to let fear take your emotions captive. The great thing about kids is that their innocence shields them from this fear.

Over the weekend we visited my mother-in-law. She has been struggling with leukemia on and off for almost six years. It was so great to have the kids around to offer a distraction from the seriousness of the issue. There is nothing like an impromptu hug or a kiss from a crazy two-year-old to bring tears to a screeching halt. These kids are the best reminder of why life is worth fighting for.

Lesson #60

Socialize like a six-year-old

I don't take a lot of social cues from my kids. In all honesty, I am usually embarrassed by their behavior in public settings. But when it comes to socializing with other kids, sometimes my kids really surprise me.

None of my kids are overly shy. This can be a good thing but also a detriment in some situations. This weekend, I really got to see how their extroverted personalities really shine through.

We went to Cincinnati to visit family and friends and to attend the Greek festival. We try to attend this event as often as possible and have been able to bring our kids along twice now. They were so excited to play carnival games and brave the rides. But I think the most fun they ended up having was with our friends' kids. They have met them a handful of times but the visits are few and far between. With all three of my kids, it took a matter of seconds to warm up to their friends, jumping right in as if they just saw each other last week.

Things got pretty crazy with a mix of sugar, toy guns and an extremely late bed time. The kids had the time of their lives and reflected on having the most fun playing with all of the kids.

I love seeing their social bravery and outgoing nature. It is so endearing to see them warm right up to others and to strengthen these relationships with ease.

Lesson #59

Fake it til you make it

When it comes to traveling, my kids generally do pretty well. Thanks to modern technology, there isn't much room for boredom on our trips. The kids are generally happy if there is a movie to watch. Miles is still in the napping phase and Zoey still does best with a nap. But napping and road tripping do not mesh well for Zoey. In order to get Miles to fall asleep, we had to turn off all technology. Zoey did not accept this easily. We pleaded with her to be quiet so Miles to fall asleep. After a range of loud and annoying antics, she finally decided to fake that she was sleeping. She had a sneaky smile on her face for a few minutes and then the unexpected happened. Not only did Miles fall asleep, Zoey did as well. She actually faked herself to sleep. What followed was the most peaceful hour of our five and a half hour trip to Cincinnati.

Lesson #58

Lower your expectations

I feel like I have learned this lesson time and again from my kids. There are good days and bad days as a stay at home mom. But when you are in the midst of a bad day, it is hard to keep that in perspective. All I can see is how crappy things are in the moment. Yesterday was definitely one of those days.

We had a great day of fun planned for the zoo. But it seemed like the odds were against me from the very start. I don't want to rehash it all again but things were just really rough from start to finish. The only real bright spot of the day was the company we had in the friends that met us there. I kept trying to turn things around and be positive. But some days it is just hard to make that switch.

Today, I didn't really have a solid plan from the start. We kind of just made things up as we went along. We started out at the gym so I could at least recharge myself and have the kids play in the child care center. From there, we ran to Target to get a few things. I told the kids they could each get a small set of Pokemon cards. They were totally entertained with those during the shopping. I don't think I had to raise my voice once. Off to Myseum to play and explore from there. Despite the annoyingly loud and chaotic environment, courtesy of a local summer camp, the kids did great! They actually listened to my rule about all staying together. They rarely bickered and all seemed to have fun. We only had one minor tantrum from Zoey, That was a vast improvement from the multiple fits she threw yesterday.

We headed out, without any arguments or crying, and met my sister for lunch. They all ate well and were very well behaved. Ahhhhhh! Home for workbook time and then to naps. Again, no protesting the work time or the napping. I look back at why I am in such a good mood and realize I had very low expectations for the day. It has really made the difference.

Now we just have to get through dinner and hockey practice while dad is at a work meeting tonight. I think I can do it!

Lesson #57

A cure for crabbiness?

My lesson for today is accepting the fact that there might not be a cure for crabbiness. Some days distraction works out pretty well for me but then there are days when I have to resign myself to the fact that the crabbiness isn't going anywhere.

I recently read a post about kids complaining of boredom just weeks into the long summer. This really resonated with me as the mom of three young kids. I try to plan fun outings even when I know that the reward won't necessarily outweigh the effort. With all of the work that I put into entertaining these kids, you would think that I wouldn't have to worry about anyone getting bored. But there always seems to be something to complain about!

I planned a trip to the zoo this morning with a friend of mine. She also has three kids so we always enjoy commiserating over the daily challenges. It seemed like I was destined for failure from the time we all gout up this morning. If it wasn't one kid whining, it was two. Hungry, bored, tired of walking, someone kicked me, I can't see, I'm hot, it is too sunny, it smells in here, I want to ride in the stoller, I want to walk...you name it, they complained about it. Nothing I seemed to try made any difference in the crabbiness level.

It is now 1:30 and the only reason no one is currently whining is the fact that two are sleeping and one has a friend over playing. I know it is only temporary but can only hope that a little rest and a break from one another will curb the crabby for a while.

Lesson #56

If a boy pees in a public parking lot and nobody is there to see it....

When it comes to potty training, my patience is really starting to fade. I am not sure if it is laziness or just the fact that I am wearing thin with the third kid, but I am so over it! Countless trips to the bathroom, usually at meal time, often with no results, have left me feeling defeated. Add in the countless pair of underwear tossed in the garbage after pooping incidents and I am at the end of my rope.

Today, we were leaving the gym to go to the mall for some book shopping. I was  already frazzled after trying to heard all three through the busy workout area as each of them ran in different directions, jumping over a variety of exercise machines. We made it to the car with plenty of fighting and even a little kicking. Everyone was buckled in. As soon as my butt hit the seat, Miles told me he had to go potty. There was no way in hell I was going to walk him back through the gym, along with the other two, just to watch him not go pee. But I also knew that it would be at least twenty minutes before he could use a bathroom at the mall.

I didn't think twice before pulling him out of his seat, walking him around to the front of my car, and pulling his pants down. There wasn't anyone around and there was a row of trees right in front of my car. Apparently he appreciated the novelty of outdoor urination. Just seconds later, his bladder was empty and we were off to the mall. Not my proudest parenting moment but I did feel victorious about the outcome.

Lesson #55

Choose your words wisely

As parents, we all hope to pass down our best characteristics to our kids. There are certain things about myself and my husband that I have enjoyed seeing come through in each of out three children. Max's expressive nature, Zoey's social personality and Mile's independent streak. But there are also things that I hope do not trickle down to the next generation.

I have always know that I have a Type A personality and a perfectionistic nature. I don't like things to be good enough. This has been beneficial to me in some aspects but also a detriment. I have recently started seeing hints of this in Zoey's personality. Today, was a very eye opening experience and I am really at a loss for how to address it.

We were doing a few pages in a preschool workbook before nap time. She was working on tracing letters. She was using a pencil and immediately became anxious and upset at the first tiny stray off of the line. I showed her how to use the eraser hoping her mind would be at ease. I think this only made things worse. Every time she even started going off course, she became very upset and wanted to erase it all and start over. The first letter that she did very well, I commented that is was perfect. As soon as I said the word, I wanted to take it back. I don't want her to ever think that perfect is the only acceptable end result. I tried to be encouraging and positive during the 20 minute activity but she made it very difficult. She was actually crying and yelling that she couldn't do it right.

I am not sure what lesson I learned here other than the fact that I need to be sensitive to her growing drive to do things perfectly. I know that even at the age of four, she is starting to develop her own sense of self and that her perception can at least partly be molded by me as a mom. I know how important it is going to be to choose my words carefully with her. She is very sensitive and is already demonstrating a people pleasing tendency.

Lesson #54

Easier isn't always better

Last night marked a momentous occasion. Max had his very first sleepover. This has been the topic of conversation for the past week. He has been begging for a sleepover ever since the first week of kindergarten. The opportunity finally presented itself on Saturday as he was invited over to the house of one of his school friends. I am not going to pretend I was nervous or sad to be missing him. I was very much looking forward to be one kid down on a Saturday afternoon, evening and Sunday morning!

Max came home today very excited and sleep deprived. The boys had a blast and Max was sad to be home. He actually told me our house was boring. I almost took it personally considering the daily outings we make to do kid centered activities. But I know it was just a reflection of what a great time he had.

Saturday late afternoon was very quiet with just Zoey and Miles. Bed time at 7:30 meant almost and extra hour of adult time at the end of the night. Josh worked this morning so I jumped at the chance to drag just two children along to our favorite breakfast spot. When Max rolled in at 11 am, the house immediately changed tones. The volume level tripled and chaos ensued. Today was more challenging, filled with tattling, bickering and physical altercations.

Was it easier having a house with the two "quiet kids" for 21 hours? Absolutely! But it was also incomplete. Zoey asked repeatedly when Max would be home and Miles asked more than once where he was and why he wasn't with us. As much as they pretend to hate each other, they definitely are happier overall when the family is all together. And I feel the same.

Lesson #53

Ignorance is bliss

I dread taking the kids to see the Dr. for a variety of reasons. Yesterday, I was specifically dreading the trip because I assumed Zoey would be getting shots. I vividly remember when Max got his last round of shots. You might have thought they amputated his arm. I didn't mention it to Zoey because I didn't want to deal with any sort of meltdown.

Aside from four trips to the bathroom with Miles, one load of poop in his underpants, the visit was going pretty well. I let the nurse bring up the pending shots. To my utter surprise, Zoey did not melt down. Not only did she not freak out, she actually smiled, held her arms high and yelled, "shots! Yay!"

I'm not sure what the excitement was all about but I went with it. I cheered right along with her. I knew they joy would fade when the first blow was delivered but by that time, we were 30% done! By shot number two she was not happy. But the nurse snuck in the third before she could jump down from the table. This girl did not shed a single tear! Of course we have been hearing about her sore arms for the past 24 hours but otherwise, a totally victory for all!!!

Lesson #52

Appreciating a different kind of fun

When I look back at my college days, there is no doubt those were some of the best times of my life. I had a lot of fun and formed some amazing friendships that are still some of the closest I have. No matter the situation, we always seemed to be having the most fun of anyone else around. Whether frequenting a local bar, hitting a concert or just grabbing a study break from the library, there never seemed to be a dull moment.

Due to the fact that I went to college here and St. Louis, it is easy to be reminded of those days when visiting a familiar venue or reminiscing with college friends still living in the area. Last night was one of those times. A group of my college friends decided to take our kids to see Circus Flora down near our old campus. A genius idea emerged to take our kids to eat at a favorite college bar and grill. We all piled in at a long table. With seven kids between us, I am sure we drew plenty of looks. The meal was loud and chaotic with plenty of spills and trips to the bathroom. This was somewhat reminiscent of how it would look in the glory days, but with a whole new twist.

As we walked out of Humphrey's, trying to wrangle our herd to the cars, one friend commented on the "different kind of fun" we have these days. She said, "If you would have told the college me that in fourteen years we would all be back at this bar with our crazy kids, heading for a night out at the circus, I would have laughed in your face."

We pretty much all felt the same. But as I looked at my three kids, shoving puffs of cotton candy in there mouths, staring wide eyed at the trapeze artist, I realized how much fun this new life is. I still love a good night out on the town with not a kid in sight, but I also relish in their joy on a daily basis. It is fun to witness the fun they are having. I could never have imagined what that would feel like as a 21 year-old. But at the ripe old age of 36, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Lesson #51

Guilt is a very powerful thing

I am no stranger to orchestrating my share of guilt trips. Not to be sexist, but I feel that it is a very powerful tool to employ as a female. Not the best way to get what you want but it does serve its purpose from time to time. I am pretty good at serving it up but am not great on the other side of things. I hate feeling guilty and am pretty quick to cave in to people. I guess it comes from my deep rooted issue of wanting to be liked by others.

I am quickly learning that the ultimate guilt trippers are my own kiddos. I guess I should have expected this as they have been learning from a master for the past few years. I don't normally try to guilt them into doing things but I am sure they have seen me work my magic with their own dad. Cutting to the chase...I was put on the ultimate guilt trip this morning by Max and Zoey. It was not a good feeling.

The kids are wrapping up their two-week camp tomorrow. They have been doing daily swimming lessons in addition to a number of other fun activities. We were informed on Monday that the kids would be doing a little swimming performance on Thursday for parents to watch if available. The logistics of the scheduling put a 90 minute window on their 5 minute performances. Anyone who knows Miles knows that expecting him to stay by my side at an indoor pool for 90 minutes would not go well. I decided it would not be in my best interest to attempt this. once I broke the news to the kids, they were nothing short of devastated. You would have thought I told them I was skipping out on graduation or their birthday party. There were tears shed, lots of moping around and even the silent treatment. I must admit, well-played by both kids indeed.

Max fortunately did some problem solving and suggested that one of the other kids' parents could video and email it to me. Genius! I thought this would get me off the hook completely but I still heard the disappointment the entire drive to camp.

I am not exactly sure what the lesson was in this whole scenario other than the fact that I need to prepare myself for how to deal with such guilt trips in the future. Those teenage years are going to be the death of me!

Lesson #50

Take nothing for granted...even the annoying things that drive you up the wall.

I love my kids more than anything. But there are definitely days when I want to pull my hair out and run screaming from the room before 9:00 am. I have little patience for tattling and bickering over ridiculous things. This morning was one of those days that I wanted to walk out and have someone else deal with my kids. I did not have that luxury today however.

My day did take a turn for the better by lunch time. I felt pretty good and was not as annoyed as earlier in the morning. I then talked to my mother-in-law who is battling leukemia yet again and really struggling. Hearing her talk about wanting nothing more than to have more time with her grand kids really struck me. Of all the people she has in her life and all of the wonderful places to go things to see now that she is retired, she desperately wants to see our three kids grow up a little more.

We got off the phone and I have not been able to stop thinking about our conversation. All of the moments throughout the day that I fantasize about time alone and having a quiet house are times that I am sure she would give anything to have. My most frustrating and annoying day would probably be one she would find fun and life affirming. I would love more than anything to have her perspective on life and family. I learn a lot from my kids but I also continue to learn so much from this amazing woman. I pray that she has years left with us and the kids. I know that they too have so much to learn from her.

Lesson #49

Follow their lead

I love taking my three kids out to do things when we have a free day. Let me clarify, it is not that I always love taking them places, just that I love being out of the house where the chaos level seems to decrease. I usually have all three of them now that summer break is in full swing. Today, I just had Miles and felt very relaxed about our outing to a kids' science museum. This place is normally seriously stressful. When I have all three, it is extremely rough keeping them all together and not feeling like someone is missing. With just Miles, I only had to keep track of one!

I found myself falling into my normal habits of steering exploration. Usually with Miles, I am trying to coerce him to stay in a confined space or trying to keep him from running off. I found myself trying to do this today. But with only one kiddo to monitor, I reminded myself to let him lead the way. It was a real eye opener to see what types of activities he is drawn to. I always thought he loved the veterinary area but now think that was more about where I tried to lead him. He was very interested in building and in experimenting with shadows. I know I don't always have the luxury of letting my kids take the lead. In most cases, this wouldn't even be a safe idea. But when the opportunity arises, I will definitely try to take advantage from now on.

Lesson #48

Dance like a toddler and act like no one is watching

I have been taking my kids to Music Together for over four years now. We started in Baltimore with Max and I now take Miles and Zoey here in St. Louis. they really love it and it is normally a pretty easy form of entertainment for the kids. Today, I just had Miles there because Zoey is doing a little camp. Normally, Miles clings to me, wanting to sit on my lap, hold my hand or be held during all of the songs. But today, one of our friends brought their 6-year-old son whom Miles adores. It was actually really nice because Miles just wanted to sit with this boy the whole time. But when it cam time for the freestyle dance portion, I found it super awkward. Miles usually insists that I hold him or at least hold his hands while he just jumps around. Busy with is older pal, my dance partner left my flying solo for a very uncomfortable rendition of the B 52's Rock Lobster. Don't get me wrong, I love to dance. Take me to a wedding or a night out with friends at a bar and I would be happy to tear it up all night long. But there is something a little different about toddler time at the neighborhood Jewish school. There are no cocktails or popular hip hop song to belt out with my girlfriends. I could not wait for the song to end this morning. But I decided to just embrace the discomfort and do the obligatory foot shuffle while all of the other kids danced with their moms. It wasn't enjoyable, but hopefully a little less awkward looking than if I had just stood there while everyone else danced.

                                                I dance much better with a great partner!

Lesson #47

The laundry will still be there tomorrow

There is nothing more exhausting than traveling all day after a late night out only to come home to four loads of clean laundry to fold and put away. I love vacation but it is always hard knowing what awaits me back in the kingdom of stay-at-home-mommy land.

I was so excited to get back to the kids today after four days away. They welcomed us with big hugs and numerous tales of adventure and mayhem under the watchful eye of a babysitter. They of course wanted to hit the pool, the park and dinner, eager to make up for lost time. I felt the laundry calling me from the mud room. "Fold me. Sort me. Put me away before I multiply!"

As much as my type A personality was screaming for a task oriented afternoon, my kids were gleefully begging for love and attention. It killed me to think about doing all of that laundry after they all went to bed. I had a date in mind with my couch, "Game of Thrones" and Thai delivery. But I knew that the laundry would be here tomorrow. I knew my kids would be so happy to get some quality time. I knew I wouldn't regret the time spent tomorrow.

Lesson #46

Life goes on without me

Every time we leave the kids for more than just a few hours, I naturally think about how they will feel with me not around. I worry about Miles waking up and calling my name. I worry about whether or not they can trust that we will be back. I worry about them sleeping well, eating well and not feeling sad that we are not here. We are lucky enough to have great people in our lives to watch our kids when we do leave town, but I still manage to worry to some extent.

As much as I love to feel wanted and needed, there is no better feeling than calling home and hearing happiness in their voices despite my absence. While away this weekend, the sitter sent numerous photos and videos, sharing all of the fun activities from the weekend. Not once did I hear fear, sadness or anxiety in their words. they were happy and content in my absence. The kids engaged in their normal routines, even fitting in hockey, swimming lessons and camp. They went about their normal weekend routine feeling loved and cared for.

It is a little reminder that life does go on without me and that things can go pretty smoothly without me at the helm of the ship. But it is still good to come home to open arms and hearing the words, "Don't go on any more trips without us please."

Lesson #45

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

I won't lie. I had been looking forward to a kid-free vacation for weeks. Taking off for Florida with my husband and some old friends kept me going through the last rough weeks of potty training and screaming kids. I had no problem letting go and getting into the swing of vacation mode the minute we hit the airport. But as always, there is a sadness and emptiness that hovers a little bit even during the best parts of the trip.

Being away from my kids for even a few days teaches me a lot about what is most important in life. Vacation would not be as much fun or relaxing if I didn't have three special people missing me at home. I can hear it in their happy little voices when we talk on the phone. They fill me in about all of the funny, sneaky things they are doing with the babysitter. From Miles pooping in the yard to sneaking down after bed time to steal the iPad for after hours use, there was never a dull moment during our time away. And as much as I enjoy lounging at the beach, enjoying cocktails and plenty of dancing, there is no place I would rather return than home with Max, Zoey and Miles.

Lesson #44

Marriage made stronger with kids

People make the decision to have kids for a number of reasons. Some people hope it will make a marriage stronger while others are seeking to add fulfillment to their lives. Children definitely change the dynamics of a husband and wife pairing. Sometimes it adds a strain and other times it deepens a bond between man and wife.

When we started trying to have Max, all I cared about was being a mom. I didn't really think about the impact parenthood would have on our marriage. As I look back at the past ten years on our anniversary, I can say without a doubt that our three kids have only strengthened our relationship. When I look at our children, I see the best of my husband. Our marriage has never been better and I know that raising our kids together, tackling all of the challenges and celebrating all of their milestones has only enhanced our partnership and love. 

Lesson #43

Road rage is contagious

I am not a very patient driver. I am not a very patient person in general to be honest. If there is one thing I am not good at, it is waiting. I don't like wasting time and have little tolerance for people who make me late. This isn't one of my best qualities. One of the places I really struggle with patience is in the car. I try to manage my frustration but inevitably, the kids pick up on my irritation when people are not driving as well as I am.

Today, on the way to camp drop off, the person in front of me was very hesitant to take his left turn. We waited and waited for him to make a move, meanwhile missing our light. I think I might have said, "go!" under my breath at one point. Just as the guy was starting to turn, Max yelled, "You idiot!"

I was shocked! This is not a word we use in our house at all! But I know it wasn't even the word itself that bothered me. It was the fact that Max had no patience for waiting on this guy to turn. I know that he has picked up on that from driving around with me for the past six years. This isn't the first time he has commented on another driver's inability to live up to my expectations. Over a year ago, he yelled to a woman, "You need to go to driving school," as our window was down. Not my proudest moment as a parent.

I certainly do not want my kids to grow up to be angry drivers. But more importantly, I do not want them to inherit my low threshold of patience for other people. Life is to short to worry about being a few minutes late. I really need to stop myself and take a deep breath the next time I find myself feeling aggravated by other people on the road.

Lesson #42

The best way to make food appetizing to a toddler is to give it to someone else

I try really hard to raise flexible eaters. I do not want to have picky kids that only eat familiar foods. I know this is somewhat out of my control but I still do the best I can to introduce new things. I refuse to make individual meals and always expect them to at least try each item on the plate. Max and Zoey have always been pretty good at trying new things. Miles is really starting to throw me for a loop. This two-year-old can be really finicky. It is hard to get him to eat grains and most meat items. I am always trying to get enough protein into his diet.

One really neat trick Miles has been pulling lately is stealing from Zoey's place setting. Not only does he thieve her utensils, he will snag food right off her plate, even if he has the same food in front of him. This morning, Miles at all of his peach but wanted nothing to do with the mini peanut butter pancake sandwiches I made.

I was too busy to force the issue and hoped he would eat a few more bites if I set them aside. We were all about ready to leave the house and Zoey picked up one of Miles' pancake creations. No sooner did she have the sandwich in her mouth did Miles start yelling that it was his. I let her have half and he then proceeded to scarf down the other half as well as another whole one.

At least I have a new food strategy.

Lesson #41
The sibling bond is unbreakable, no matter how weak it can seem at times

I am a very lucky girl. I have an older brother and younger sister to whom I am very close. We weren't always that way. My sister and I were definitely not the best of friends as she always seemed too young to be cool. At four years my junior, we never had much in common until she went to college. My brother and I were always close as kids and have managed to maintain a very good relationship, traveling across the state for visits several times each year. With my own three kids less than two years apart from one another, I have always hoped for the same type of relationship between them. They fight like animals a good majority of the time but they often give my glimpses of how much they truly love each other.

Yesterday, after Miles fell bouncing on his brother's bed, Max came running to get me. He was very concerned and visibly shaken by the blood gushing from his little brother's nose. He was pretty scared. Once Miles calmed down, Max was right there, asking if he was okay and telling him not to be sad. It was such a sweet moment.

Max can often get annoyed by his little sister. She tends to play the role of his shadow, wanting to do everything he is doing. Today when I dropped them off at camp, Zoey's enthusiasm quickly shifted to anxiety. She was scared to go in, holding up the carpool line. Max was so sweet, grabbing her by the hand and saying, "Let's go Zoey. This is what you have been waiting for."

In the midst of this crazy summer of fights, bloody noses and general chaos, it is endearing to see such loving moments between these kiddos. It can be easy to get frustrated by the day-to-day insanity of the tattling and arguing. But these are the moments that put it all into perspective.

Lesson #40

Poop victory--the sweet smell of success!

TMI warning!
Day three of potty training has proven to been the highlight of the weekend! After a pooping fail in the playhouse on day one, I thought Miles would be scarred for life. He forced himself into a pooping standoff all day yesterday. I just knew we were in for something disastrous from the kid that is as regular as coffee chugging truck driver. I was on the edge of my seat, nervous about when and where he would be overcome by the urge to go. By the time we were out and about this morning, I was pretty anxious about how this would all come out in the end. I knew we were in for something when he started complaining that his belly hurt.

We got home from church and errands with a very upset little man. He kept getting on and off the potty, terrified about what was going to happen. But crouched down on the floor, inches from the toilet, I managed to coax him through this triumphant moment with seven verses of Old McDonald. By the time this farmer had a gorilla, we had hurdled the pooping challenge. I wasn't sure what he would think when he stood up but Miles simply asked, "What is that?"

"That is your poop," I said. And the rest is potty training history!

Lesson #39
Be calm in an emergency...even when you are freaking out inside

Go ahead and call in my name as a nomination for mom of the year. Who had the police and firemen show up at her house to free her two-year-old from a locked bathroom? This girl!

This is definitely not one of my proudest moments as a mom. In the midst of some pretty intense potty training, I managed to create a scary situation for Miles. We had made it over the hump of multiple accidents each hour. I was feeling pretty good about things. Miles had just gone potty without any trace of accidental leakage. I was feeling great about this little victory. He insisted on flushing the potty as I walked back into my bedroom to finish putting laundry away. He then closed the door to keep flushing. I thin here, "Uh oh, mommy. I locked in."

I went to the door and tried to instruct him to pull down the lever harder to pop the lock open. That did not work. I was calm and told him I was going to get a key. I ran quietly to get a few small screwdrivers and proceeded to disengage the lock pretty quickly. Now the lever was moving but the door was still not opening. I really started to get nervous but kept trying. Miles was pretty calm through this all. As luck would have it, I was home alone. I called our neighbor to come help and felt like we for sure could get this door open. No such luck. After about 15 minutes of trying, we had only managed to get part of the door handle off the door. I was definitely worried and Miles was getting really upset. I had already exhausted a few books I slid under the door and several reeces pieces. This worked for a while but now Miles was really scared and crying. My neighbor suggested a locksmith but I knew Miles could not wait 2 hours to get out. I then called 911. When the operator asked for my name I almost jocking replied, "mom of the year." I opted against this attempt to lighten up the situation as I was afraid she might not take it very seriously.

The friendly police officer arrived just in time for Miles to really be crying, shoving out the candy and chips that were small enough to fit under the door. "I not want candy...I want momma."

I started to tear up and felt terrible that I could not comfort my son. I tried to keep a happy voice and kept telling him how cool it was that the police officer was helping us fix the door. The whole process took about 25 minutes, but the officer was finally able to get the door handle complete off and open the door. I swept Miles up and hugged him. He calmed down immediately. He was even able to wave at the fire engine just as it arrived and left from our house.

I was shaken for the next few hours. But on the way to get lunch, I looked back to see Miles happily looking at his book as if nothing had happened. I realized in that moment that he had already forgotten about the whole incident. The entire time he was in the bathroom he was mainly calm. It was just the last ten minutes that he was really scared. I feel like I did my best to put my emotions aside and to make sure he did not think there was anything to be upset about. That was the only thing that kept me from really losing it.

Lesson #38

Patience is not my best attribute

My patience is really getting a push today as I embark on my last potty training adventure. I have seen the date on the calendar and have looked forward to it with enthusiasm and dread at the same time. Miles is the last of the three to tackle this milestone. I am so ready to be free from the chains of diapers and everything that goes along with them. But I also know that the next 72 hours are going to be rough.

I think the hardest part of this process is staying home without any outings planned. Apparently, it will be just as hard for the other kids. When I warned Max that we would be home to potty train he was shocked!. "wait, you mean we are going anywhere or doing anything all day?"

I was very optimistic as the morning started. He stayed dry for 90 minutes. But things quickly changed with multiple underwear changes and several false alarms. Trying to juggle laying with everyone while not letting Miles out of my sight has been exhausting. I looked at the clock at one point and it was only 10:30. I thought I might pull out my hair.

All is quiet now as it is nap time. I have a bit of a break. As I look back at the stressful morning, I see how well Max and Zoey have handled the whole thing. Without being prompted, they both made a huge deal about Miles wearing underwear, cheering him on about being a big boy. Max asked Miles to watch him go potty to learn how it is done and Zoey made up her own potty dance to encourage his tiny victories.

I am hopeful that the afternoon will be a littl easier. Progress has been made and I know it will get better with each day. At least I have a small team of coaches on my side!

Lesson #37

Lead by example

I am not really an animal person. I mean, I love dogs, but that is about it. I am not one to venture out and pet animals at the zoo or want to feed goats on a field trip with the kids. Strangely enough, my kids did not inherit my indifference to wild animals.

We went on a little adventure to Grant's Farm today. The kids love seeing all of the animals up close and enjoy feeding the goats with the baby bottles. We have done this a number of times over the years. But today, we tried something new. The friends we were with invited us to go into the bird cage to feed the parakeets. When it comes to flying creatures, I am particularly skittish. I do not like the idea of being pooped on or having little talons wrap around my fingers. My kids were actually not opposed to any of these possibilities. They each got a popsicle stick with bird food on the end. The birds were not shy about landing on your hand or your head for that matter. Max, the normally brave six-year-old, was actually a little freaked out. He really wanted the bird to land on his head in theory but any time one got near, he jumped and screamed. Reluctantly, I showed him how NOT scary the birds were, luring them onto my own hand with their food. After several minutes, he was confident enough to allow a bird to perch on his head.

I definitely felt disgusting after this venture but had a very happy kid. Max was so pumped about the bird on his head. He wanted to call his dad immediately and we of course had to send a picture. Did I enjoy interacting with these feathered friends? Absolutely not! But I do not want to sway my impressionable kids against something they might really enjoy in order to avoid something I do not like.

Lesson #36

When in doubt, play dumb

I never claim to be the mom that has it all together. I claim a victory when we all get out there door on time, avoid any major melt downs in public and make it home in the same clothing we left wearing. I am not afraid about taking all three kids on long outings. I prefer a day when we are gone by 8:00 am and home just in time for naps at 1:00 pm. Today that was definitely my plan. But when we arrived at the gym at 8:20, just in time to drop off at child care and make it to stretch, my day hit a snag. Why did Miles have only one shoe?

I had a few options before me:
1. Run home to get the shoe and be a few minutes late for my class.
2. Let him go without a shoe at the gym and race home before meeting my friend at a local coffee shop/play place. I would have definitely been late to this.
3. Play dumb about the missing shoe to anyone pointing out, "Hey, did you know your kid is missing a shoe?"

I decided to go with option #3. I would venture to say that at least 8 people pointed out the missing shoe. We hit the gym, played and sipped coffee at The Nest, returned items and shopped at Wal Mart (not really out of place without shoes here), then even dined out at a very casual neighborhood restaurant. Not my best showing but I feel like I enjoyed the day, as well as the kids, without really sacrificing anything! No regrets!!!!

Lesson #35

One day I will miss my shadow

Summer is here and that means a lot of things to a stay at home mom of three. I am blessed and cursed with the constant presence of my three little ones for the next three months. I have been busy planning a variety of fun activities that we often miss during the busy school year. We do have a lot of fun but I am quickly slapped in the face with the reality of very little alone time. Sure, my two youngest still nap. That does give me a little down time. But my six-year-old is always present, seeking my undivided attention when he sees the opportunity.

This is the second full week of summer and I am starting to remember what it is like to never be by myself. I cannot leave the room for more than five seconds without hearing little feet running behind me. There is no escape. I head for the bathroom and the door is pushed open. I go to find my shoes and Miles is crying, "Where are you mama?"

Today has been especially rough. We are normally out and about by 8:00 as the sheer volume level of the house is enough to have me gathering the troops to do something to stay busy. Our big plan today was strawberry picking which meant staying home until after 9:00. I was seriously about to pull out my hair as I could not even make a phone call or pay a single bill. The was nowhere to hide.


Every time I find myself thoroughly annoyed, I try to remember that in a few short years, there won't be anyone lagging behind me around the house as I try to get things done. The kids will all be in school and I am sure that I will feel pretty lonely once all of my house duties and errands are done without interruption. I need to try to keep that in perspective.

Lesson #34

Make new friends and keep the old

I am pretty lucky in the fact that I have six close friends from college that still live here in the area. We try to get together as a group once every six weeks and often see each other individually or in small groups in between then. It is really easy to be comfortable in this bubble of friends but it is also important to embrace new relationships. I am trying to follow the example my kids demonstrate in the way that they so easily warm up to others.

We went to the park today and met up with one of my college girlfriends and her two daughters. Max was a little upset that we weren't meeting any of his friends but quickly forgot is disappointment. Within minutes, he had befriended a boy around his age. The two were inseparable for the rest of the morning. As happy as Max was to meet this new friend, he was still inclusive of his little brother, pulling him into their wild antics of chase and monster. I love how socially brave Max is. He just jumps right in and engages with any willing participant. He just needs to work on his approach a little. Once we got home, Zoey was asking what his friend's name was. Max admitted he never asked. He casually explained that he just called him "Dude. That is what you do when you don't know someone's name."

                         I love that Max is still willing to include his little brother even with friends around!

Lesson #33

Take pride in yourself

I am a pretty confident person but I definitely have my own insecurities. I can be competitive and I am known to be a perfectionist but when it comes to accepting compliments, I tend to struggle. Thinking about the typical job interview question, "What are your best traits?" I never like to talk about my best qualities. Despite my own reservations about taking pride in myself, I work very hard at instilling this quality in my kids. Today, I really stopped and tried to take a lesson from my oldest
son Max.

My six-year-old came bounding in the door from his baseball game, raving about his own performance. He was so excited to tell me about his strong hits and getting another player out. He had a huge smile on his face and was very proud of his performance. I of course praised him and encouraged him to keep playing his hardest. I think about my own accomplishments and realize that I would never toot my own horn about a job well done. There is definitely a thin line between pride and arrogance. This is something we are careful with in teaching our kids. But today, it was me taking a lesson and making a point to take my own advice to heart.