Lesson #55
Choose your words wisely
As parents, we all hope to pass down our best characteristics to our kids. There are certain things about myself and my husband that I have enjoyed seeing come through in each of out three children. Max's expressive nature, Zoey's social personality and Mile's independent streak. But there are also things that I hope do not trickle down to the next generation.
I have always know that I have a Type A personality and a perfectionistic nature. I don't like things to be good enough. This has been beneficial to me in some aspects but also a detriment. I have recently started seeing hints of this in Zoey's personality. Today, was a very eye opening experience and I am really at a loss for how to address it.
We were doing a few pages in a preschool workbook before nap time. She was working on tracing letters. She was using a pencil and immediately became anxious and upset at the first tiny stray off of the line. I showed her how to use the eraser hoping her mind would be at ease. I think this only made things worse. Every time she even started going off course, she became very upset and wanted to erase it all and start over. The first letter that she did very well, I commented that is was perfect. As soon as I said the word, I wanted to take it back. I don't want her to ever think that perfect is the only acceptable end result. I tried to be encouraging and positive during the 20 minute activity but she made it very difficult. She was actually crying and yelling that she couldn't do it right.
I am not sure what lesson I learned here other than the fact that I need to be sensitive to her growing drive to do things perfectly. I know that even at the age of four, she is starting to develop her own sense of self and that her perception can at least partly be molded by me as a mom. I know how important it is going to be to choose my words carefully with her. She is very sensitive and is already demonstrating a people pleasing tendency.
Choose your words wisely
As parents, we all hope to pass down our best characteristics to our kids. There are certain things about myself and my husband that I have enjoyed seeing come through in each of out three children. Max's expressive nature, Zoey's social personality and Mile's independent streak. But there are also things that I hope do not trickle down to the next generation.
I have always know that I have a Type A personality and a perfectionistic nature. I don't like things to be good enough. This has been beneficial to me in some aspects but also a detriment. I have recently started seeing hints of this in Zoey's personality. Today, was a very eye opening experience and I am really at a loss for how to address it.
We were doing a few pages in a preschool workbook before nap time. She was working on tracing letters. She was using a pencil and immediately became anxious and upset at the first tiny stray off of the line. I showed her how to use the eraser hoping her mind would be at ease. I think this only made things worse. Every time she even started going off course, she became very upset and wanted to erase it all and start over. The first letter that she did very well, I commented that is was perfect. As soon as I said the word, I wanted to take it back. I don't want her to ever think that perfect is the only acceptable end result. I tried to be encouraging and positive during the 20 minute activity but she made it very difficult. She was actually crying and yelling that she couldn't do it right.
I am not sure what lesson I learned here other than the fact that I need to be sensitive to her growing drive to do things perfectly. I know that even at the age of four, she is starting to develop her own sense of self and that her perception can at least partly be molded by me as a mom. I know how important it is going to be to choose my words carefully with her. She is very sensitive and is already demonstrating a people pleasing tendency.
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