Lesson #93

Is hate a bad word?

This is something I have really been struggling with. It really strikes a nerve when I hear my kids say that they hate something. They luckily do not say this pointed phrase toward people, but it still really bothers me. I have really tried to correct them when they passionately yell that they hate a certain cereal or that they hate cleaning their rooms. I am not sure how effective I am at preventing this word from coming out of their mouths.

Today, on the way to the zoo, my 2 1/2 year old exclaimed "I hate the sun! It is in my eyes."

I had never heard him use the word until this point and it really bothered me. I asked him not to say "hate" but he repeated it a few more times.

I think the biggest issue I struggle with is the fact that this is something I have said for years. It is such a dramatic word and I am 100% guilty of using it at ridiculous times.

"I hate going to the dentist."

"I hate milk."

"I hate sitting in traffic."

"I hate folding laundry."

"I hate unloading the dishwasher."

My husband has given me a hard time about my use of this word since long before we were ever married. I didn't really see anything wrong with it at the time. But now that I have young kids, it really bothers me to hear them say it.

So, is "hate" right up there with the standard four letter words? I am not sure. I definitely try to treat it that way when I hear the kids say it. I still catch myself using it from time to time and really need to try harder to eliminate it all together.

Lesson #92

Take one for the team

Having siblings is definitely a plus in this family. As much as they can fight and bicker, my kiddos are generally happy that they have built-in playmates.

Today we headed for the park just to burn off some steam and enjoy the last days of this summer break. Nothing super exciting but the kids were happy to be at a park we don't frequent very often. Max quickly sought out the oldest kids at the park, happy to make friends for the morning. Zoey was off climbing and swinging while Miles hit the twisty slide repeatedly.

A girl around the age of five sought Miles out for a game of tag. I am not exactly sure why. She had been playing with a boy that looked to be around age four. She asked Miles to play a few times, perhaps because she knew she could always manage to tag him if the other kid was too fast. Miles was happy to oblige. Unfortunately for her, Miles has no idea how to play tag. She would tag him and he would just laugh. Rather than chase her or the other boy, Miles would just say, "Tag. You are it," without any physical contact.

This got old pretty fast for the little girl.

Enter Max; big brother extraordinaire! "Here Miles, tag me."

Miles was happy to tap his older brother who then immediately raced after the little girl. The game was on! It essentially became a tag team match for the rest of the morning. Miles was thrilled and Max was happy to take on for the team, getting tagged and exacting revenge on the other players!

Lesson #91

You are never too young to meditate

We are not exactly what you call a "Zen" family. We all have a certain intensity that never seems to fade. Energy levels for the kids are often maxed out and our general chill factor is pretty nonexistent. This is great in some ways but it is also a bit exhausting as parents. I wouldn't change a thing about my kids but I would be lying if I said that the rare moments of quiet don't happen often enough.

We are blazing through what I like to call "mommy camp" this week. I have been trying to plan fun outings for the kids leading up to the end of summer. We hit up the Botanical Gardens to enjoy the beautiful weather, feed the large coy fish and play in the children's garden. You could say keeping five kids on task, between two adults, was a bit challenging. "Stay on the path. Don't pick the Flowers. Stay out of the water. Keep your hands to yourselves. Don't throw rocks in the fountains. Stop stepping on the sprinkler. No tackling. No playing tag. Watch out for the other visitors trying to enjoy the gardens."

As we wound our way back to the children's garden, the kids took a quick pause for a rest. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw Max assume his meditative pose. I was impressed! In the company of some avid meditating friends, I asked my little man where he learned that pose. "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. "

Well, at least he was learning something! Max's buddy and Zoey joined in for what ended up being the most chill part of the entire day. We take what we can get right?

Lesson #90

An education of poop

It still amazes me with my third child how fascinating mundane things can be. It is also interesting how different kids at the same age can be intrigued by such different things. Unless I am not remembering accurately, my oldest two kids never really had a curiosity in their own defecation. They pretty much just did their business and went about more interesting things.

It took a while for Miles to actually stop using his underwear for a toilet. But ever since he got over the fear of pooping into a big white basin, he has developed quite a fascination with his own poop. Not only does he love looking at it, he likes analyzing it.

It all started with the fact that the toilet paper would cover up the poop. "It is getting in my way," he would exclaim.

Apparently, Miles needed to be able to see it go round and round as it flushed. Once I realized this, I had to reason with him that as it flushed, the paper would float off so he could get a better view of the action. I was just afraid he was going to reach in and move the toilet paper.

We moved on from the toilet paper being in the way to personalizing the poop.

"There is a baby poop."

"The baby poop wants his mommy."

"Where is the daddy poop?"

"The baby poop is getting his daddy and mommy."

"There is a ducky poop."

"The ducky poop is swimming. It is moving like the vacuum in the pool."

"I had a banana poop."

And that is all just what I have heard since yesterday morning. I can only imagine where things could go from here. Poop is just like a snowflake apparently. No two are the same.

Lesson #89

Everything is NOT awesome!

If there is one thing I never thought I would tire of hearing it would be the sweet sound of my daughter singing. I love to hear my sons hear as well but it is usually my sweet Zoey belting out her little songs from school in the car as we drive. Well, if there is one song I could go without hearing one more time for the rest of my life it would be "Everything is Awesome" from The Lego Movie. I mean, this song might possess the two most annoying lines of music ever! Or maybe it is just the way my kids scream the words at the top of their lungs in a seemingly purposeful, annoying way. UGH! I thought I might roll down the car window and climb out today. Bring on "Let it Go" every day for the rest of my life and I still think I would say that hearing "Everything is Awesome" one more time would be even worse.

Lesson #88

Gently push...don't shove

I like to think I know what is best for my kids. I try to make fair decisions. There are some things we must ask our kids to do out of safety or for their general well-being. But when it comes to things like extracurricular activities, it can be difficult to walk the line between encouragement and forcing them to do something.

I have always wanted our kids to learn a musical instrument. It is one thing I never did as a child and it is a huge regret of mine. I think it provides several benefits to kids and also think it can be really fun once they learn how to play. My husband plays guitar and sings so he has definitely been on the same page.

When the opportunity came around for Max to do a Rock-n-roll camp, we thought we had a slam dunk! Who wouldn't want to do this? Well, Max...that's who. He insisted that he had stage fright and did not want to do it. We backed off for a while, dropping subtle hints about the camp and how fun it would be to learn to play like his dad. Once Dad started up a band and began practicing in our house on Mondays, the idea of rock-n-roll camp became much more appealing. Max was pumped to do it.

We just finished two weeks of camp this week and this kid loved it! He not only learned how to play the guitar, keyboard and drums, he also learned how to read music. He liked it so much he came home and wrote out his own song and played it.

I am so glad we took the approach we did in gently hyping up all of the fun it would be. In the end, it was his choice but we definitely guided him in that direction. It was so great to see him almost cracking a smile during their performance. He still had a very serious look, but it was a far cry from the look of terror we witnessed when his class performed at the holiday concert just six months ago. We just might have a musician on our hands.

Lesson #87

Triumph over tantrums

If you are a parent that has never seen a tantrum from one of your kids, you are either lying or lucky! I used to be like you. My first son was challenging in many ways but not in the way of tantrum throwing. I felt lucky that I never had to leave a restaurant, ditch my cart at a grocery store or hang my head in shame at a birthday party. I had my share of embarrassing moments with my intense, high-energy, willful oldest son. I had seen plenty of tantrums but never had to deal with them...until I had a daughter.

I would say 90% of the time, Zoey is just a peach. She is sweet. She follows the rules. She never strays or runs away. She is very kind to other kids and loves getting positive reinforcement. But there are also occasions of utter meltdown if you really piss Zoey off.

Last night, I was doing one of my least favorite things, taking the kids out to eat by myself. This was coupled with the fact that I was going to have to bring Miles and Zoey to Max's hockey practice and chase them around a cold ice rink. Needless to say, I was not in the best of moods.

We rolled into Noodles, prepared to order a quick dinner and head to hockey. I had everyone's order ready and promised them they could choose white or chocolate milk as a treat. As I ordered at the counter, the kids perused the milk cooler, picking out their selection. I was a little distracted while ordering and failed to notice that Zoey was opening her own white milk as I talked. I knew she wanted chocolate but didn't notice her error. As she took her first sip, she started screaming bloody murder. "I didn't want plain milk! I hate this! Put it back! I want chocolate!"

This of course was not an option as she had already opened it. I told her she needed to go sit down and the tantrum only escalated. I had considered just grabbing a chocolate as she had just made a mistake in picking the wrong carton. But at that point, I couldn't very well give in to her fit. That would set the wrong precedent for all three of these kids. Instead, I sat in the restaurant with my screaming child, cringing as the employees and customers watched. It felt like forever, but she finally stopped. Once she did, I let her come to our table. She immediately asked if she could have Miles' milk. I told her she needed to ask for a few tastes. Shockingly, he obliged and ended up sharing almost half of his milk.

The night not get get much better overall from there...Miles ran into the kitchen, needed multiple trips to the potty and tried to run out into the parking lot. Not my best night in any way shape or form. But at least I did not let that tantrum win out. A small victory!