Lesson #65

Unplug and enjoy the scenery

I am one of those moms that try to monitor the amount of television, iPad and other electronics with great frustration. No matter what rules or structure I try to apply, someone is always begging to use one of our many technologic distractions. Even Miles knows how to use the iPad. He started getting the hang of it before he was even two-years-old. Now, it seems they all fight over which show to watch and who gets to use the iPad or Leap pad.

This week, the older two kids were at a morning camp. I wanted to go for a run outside as the weather was amazing. I decided to take the chance that Miles might actually tolerate me taking a run as he say in the jogging stroller. I left the house with everything I might need in case he got bored: Leap pad, two snacks, water and his toy crocodile. I was pleasantly surprised when I got well beyond the half way point without pulling out any of my tricks. He was content looking around and asking me about 100 questions. This was a challenge in itself as he always seemed to inquire about things just as we were tackling a hill. Despite being very winded, I thoroughly enjoyed the run. We stopped at the park on the way home and had a great time looking at the horses and running around on the playground together.

I worried that he would put up a fight about getting back into the stroller to go home. Instead, he asked if we could run back through the park to see the water fountain and horses before heading home. He was so happy just munching his snack on the way home that I felt we could have easily gone even longer. It ended up being a great morning for both of us!

I am glad I brought along reinforcements for the stroller run but I am so happy I did not have to use them. It reminded me that given the opportunity, kids can often surprise you. Miles was happy just taking in the scenery and relaxing as we jogged along.

Lesson #64

I am my own toughest critic

I don't think of myself as someone with poor self esteem. I do however have some perfectionistic tendencies that often result in some self-judgement. I know in my heart I am a good mom. I love my kids obviously but I also try every day to provide a loving, fun, educational environment. That being said, I don't usually feel like I have a handle on things.

On a typical day, I feel like I am merely managing chaos. I don't shy away from taking my kids out in public, despite how crazy they can act around others. It is always a toss up as to whether I will leave some place feeling utterly embarrassed.

I thought I was in pretty good shape yesterday as I took my two older kids to the grocery store. The two-year-old is usually a lose canon on this type of errand. I thought I had it made with Max and Zoey along to get supplies for an upcoming party.

The entire time we were in the store I was frazzled. They both kept bringing me items that we "must have" for the BBQ. Further, they were intentionally trying to out-silly the other one: silly voices, running up and down the aisles, playing hide and seek.

By the time we got up to the check out, I was at the end of my rope. They were all over the place. Mainly they were just acting silly but it was the last thing I needed trying to make sure we had remembered everything.

I started to apologize for how they were acting but the cashier wasn't having it. "They are just being kids. You can tell they come from a happy home and that is all that matters. "

When I stopped to think about these words, they really made me take a step back. They were just acting like kids. They were actually making a very boring errand into a fun outing. It was my own fear of how others might perceive their "out of control behavior" that had me feeling frustrated. Obviously there is a time and a place for this kind of behavior. All in all, I realize that I need to worry less about how others perceive my parenting and worry more about how I feel about the job I am doing.

Lesson #63

Appreciating the chaos

Anyone that has ever been to our house knows that it is not the most relaxing of atmospheres. The volume level is almost always well above average. Whether they are fighting or getting along well, everything seems to be done with a tremendous amount of noise here.

We were sitting around the dinner table last night trying to finish up our last bites. Zoey sat quietly in her seat, sipping her milk, as the boys reeked havoc. It is hard to describe exactly what they were doing. Imagine two Labrador puppies playing tug of war with a chew toy. Add in screaming and laughing and that might give you some idea. Nothing particularly bad was happening, but it was nothing short of chaos. We were both just waiting for someone to get hurt and for the laughter to turn into tears. I think the exhaustion from the day prevented me from trying very hard to deescalate the situation. Rather, I sat back and had to smile at the ridiculousness of it all. I looked at my husband and we both just shrugged our shoulders. He then made a comment about needing a vasectomy. We both just laughed and sat back as the craziness ensued.

As much as I complain about how insanely loud and intense things are here with three kids between 2-6 years old, I really know how lucky we are to have happy, healthy kids. They do love each other and are happiest when we are all together. I know that won't always be the case so I count my blessings.

Lesson #62

Let your kids be the teacher

Do I have a hidden desire to learn about the ins and outs of Minecraft? Do I secretly love building Lego cities? Not really. But these are my six-year-old's priorities. He is so passionate about creating his computerized hideouts and villages on Minecraft and is always adding to his elaborate Lego creations. He generally likes doing these activities independently but will sometimes ask me to participate. I don't always feel like I have the time or energy to fake an interest but it is important to him to show me his hobbies.

As I was sitting with him today as the other kids napped, I realized that these moments will not likely exist in a few short years. He will soon be annoyed by my presence and avoid spending time with me. My hope is that my taking an interest in his hobbies now, maybe he will be more likely to share things with me as the years pass by. For now, I know I need to relish these moments and give him the enthusiasm that he craves. He loves teaching me about his favorite activities and I need to take these opportunities to be the student.

Lesson #61

Hugs can heal

When dealing with a serious illness, it is easy to get bogged down in all of the details and to let fear take your emotions captive. The great thing about kids is that their innocence shields them from this fear.

Over the weekend we visited my mother-in-law. She has been struggling with leukemia on and off for almost six years. It was so great to have the kids around to offer a distraction from the seriousness of the issue. There is nothing like an impromptu hug or a kiss from a crazy two-year-old to bring tears to a screeching halt. These kids are the best reminder of why life is worth fighting for.

Lesson #60

Socialize like a six-year-old

I don't take a lot of social cues from my kids. In all honesty, I am usually embarrassed by their behavior in public settings. But when it comes to socializing with other kids, sometimes my kids really surprise me.

None of my kids are overly shy. This can be a good thing but also a detriment in some situations. This weekend, I really got to see how their extroverted personalities really shine through.

We went to Cincinnati to visit family and friends and to attend the Greek festival. We try to attend this event as often as possible and have been able to bring our kids along twice now. They were so excited to play carnival games and brave the rides. But I think the most fun they ended up having was with our friends' kids. They have met them a handful of times but the visits are few and far between. With all three of my kids, it took a matter of seconds to warm up to their friends, jumping right in as if they just saw each other last week.

Things got pretty crazy with a mix of sugar, toy guns and an extremely late bed time. The kids had the time of their lives and reflected on having the most fun playing with all of the kids.

I love seeing their social bravery and outgoing nature. It is so endearing to see them warm right up to others and to strengthen these relationships with ease.

Lesson #59

Fake it til you make it

When it comes to traveling, my kids generally do pretty well. Thanks to modern technology, there isn't much room for boredom on our trips. The kids are generally happy if there is a movie to watch. Miles is still in the napping phase and Zoey still does best with a nap. But napping and road tripping do not mesh well for Zoey. In order to get Miles to fall asleep, we had to turn off all technology. Zoey did not accept this easily. We pleaded with her to be quiet so Miles to fall asleep. After a range of loud and annoying antics, she finally decided to fake that she was sleeping. She had a sneaky smile on her face for a few minutes and then the unexpected happened. Not only did Miles fall asleep, Zoey did as well. She actually faked herself to sleep. What followed was the most peaceful hour of our five and a half hour trip to Cincinnati.