Lesson #90

An education of poop

It still amazes me with my third child how fascinating mundane things can be. It is also interesting how different kids at the same age can be intrigued by such different things. Unless I am not remembering accurately, my oldest two kids never really had a curiosity in their own defecation. They pretty much just did their business and went about more interesting things.

It took a while for Miles to actually stop using his underwear for a toilet. But ever since he got over the fear of pooping into a big white basin, he has developed quite a fascination with his own poop. Not only does he love looking at it, he likes analyzing it.

It all started with the fact that the toilet paper would cover up the poop. "It is getting in my way," he would exclaim.

Apparently, Miles needed to be able to see it go round and round as it flushed. Once I realized this, I had to reason with him that as it flushed, the paper would float off so he could get a better view of the action. I was just afraid he was going to reach in and move the toilet paper.

We moved on from the toilet paper being in the way to personalizing the poop.

"There is a baby poop."

"The baby poop wants his mommy."

"Where is the daddy poop?"

"The baby poop is getting his daddy and mommy."

"There is a ducky poop."

"The ducky poop is swimming. It is moving like the vacuum in the pool."

"I had a banana poop."

And that is all just what I have heard since yesterday morning. I can only imagine where things could go from here. Poop is just like a snowflake apparently. No two are the same.

Lesson #89

Everything is NOT awesome!

If there is one thing I never thought I would tire of hearing it would be the sweet sound of my daughter singing. I love to hear my sons hear as well but it is usually my sweet Zoey belting out her little songs from school in the car as we drive. Well, if there is one song I could go without hearing one more time for the rest of my life it would be "Everything is Awesome" from The Lego Movie. I mean, this song might possess the two most annoying lines of music ever! Or maybe it is just the way my kids scream the words at the top of their lungs in a seemingly purposeful, annoying way. UGH! I thought I might roll down the car window and climb out today. Bring on "Let it Go" every day for the rest of my life and I still think I would say that hearing "Everything is Awesome" one more time would be even worse.

Lesson #88

Gently push...don't shove

I like to think I know what is best for my kids. I try to make fair decisions. There are some things we must ask our kids to do out of safety or for their general well-being. But when it comes to things like extracurricular activities, it can be difficult to walk the line between encouragement and forcing them to do something.

I have always wanted our kids to learn a musical instrument. It is one thing I never did as a child and it is a huge regret of mine. I think it provides several benefits to kids and also think it can be really fun once they learn how to play. My husband plays guitar and sings so he has definitely been on the same page.

When the opportunity came around for Max to do a Rock-n-roll camp, we thought we had a slam dunk! Who wouldn't want to do this? Well, Max...that's who. He insisted that he had stage fright and did not want to do it. We backed off for a while, dropping subtle hints about the camp and how fun it would be to learn to play like his dad. Once Dad started up a band and began practicing in our house on Mondays, the idea of rock-n-roll camp became much more appealing. Max was pumped to do it.

We just finished two weeks of camp this week and this kid loved it! He not only learned how to play the guitar, keyboard and drums, he also learned how to read music. He liked it so much he came home and wrote out his own song and played it.

I am so glad we took the approach we did in gently hyping up all of the fun it would be. In the end, it was his choice but we definitely guided him in that direction. It was so great to see him almost cracking a smile during their performance. He still had a very serious look, but it was a far cry from the look of terror we witnessed when his class performed at the holiday concert just six months ago. We just might have a musician on our hands.

Lesson #87

Triumph over tantrums

If you are a parent that has never seen a tantrum from one of your kids, you are either lying or lucky! I used to be like you. My first son was challenging in many ways but not in the way of tantrum throwing. I felt lucky that I never had to leave a restaurant, ditch my cart at a grocery store or hang my head in shame at a birthday party. I had my share of embarrassing moments with my intense, high-energy, willful oldest son. I had seen plenty of tantrums but never had to deal with them...until I had a daughter.

I would say 90% of the time, Zoey is just a peach. She is sweet. She follows the rules. She never strays or runs away. She is very kind to other kids and loves getting positive reinforcement. But there are also occasions of utter meltdown if you really piss Zoey off.

Last night, I was doing one of my least favorite things, taking the kids out to eat by myself. This was coupled with the fact that I was going to have to bring Miles and Zoey to Max's hockey practice and chase them around a cold ice rink. Needless to say, I was not in the best of moods.

We rolled into Noodles, prepared to order a quick dinner and head to hockey. I had everyone's order ready and promised them they could choose white or chocolate milk as a treat. As I ordered at the counter, the kids perused the milk cooler, picking out their selection. I was a little distracted while ordering and failed to notice that Zoey was opening her own white milk as I talked. I knew she wanted chocolate but didn't notice her error. As she took her first sip, she started screaming bloody murder. "I didn't want plain milk! I hate this! Put it back! I want chocolate!"

This of course was not an option as she had already opened it. I told her she needed to go sit down and the tantrum only escalated. I had considered just grabbing a chocolate as she had just made a mistake in picking the wrong carton. But at that point, I couldn't very well give in to her fit. That would set the wrong precedent for all three of these kids. Instead, I sat in the restaurant with my screaming child, cringing as the employees and customers watched. It felt like forever, but she finally stopped. Once she did, I let her come to our table. She immediately asked if she could have Miles' milk. I told her she needed to ask for a few tastes. Shockingly, he obliged and ended up sharing almost half of his milk.

The night not get get much better overall from there...Miles ran into the kitchen, needed multiple trips to the potty and tried to run out into the parking lot. Not my best night in any way shape or form. But at least I did not let that tantrum win out. A small victory!

Lesson #86

Farts: My proud mom moment

I really detest the actual word, "fart." It is just one of those words that actually conjures up a sensory reaction from me. It must trigger my smell sensation in some way. At any rate, I just don't really like the word at all. For sure, there are far worse words in the urban dictionary. But I have more tolerance for most of the four-letter words.

Given the fact that I have two boys and one grown boy living in our home, it is inevitable that this word will float around, causing copious amounts of laughter for years to come. I don't allow this word to be said at our home. I ask that the kids say "toot" or "pas gas" if absolutely necessary.

Yesterday, my husband gave the priceless gift of potty knowledge to my six-year-old. In true dad fashion, he dropped a bomb on Max just as he was headed up to bed. I am not sure what compelled him to share this nugget of boy humor. Maybe he was trying to torture me or just bond in some weird guy way. Whatever the reason, he decided to introduce the term, "SBD" to Max.

Silent But Deadly

Without knowing what it meant, my sweet little boy was rolling with laughter. Upon explanation, "silent but deadly" grew even more giggles.

I looked at my husband and rolled my eyes. "Thanks for that," I stated.

Of course, not even 12 hours later, as he crawled into bed to wake us up, Max repeated his favorite new catch phrase. It was as if he had been waiting all night to use it. Not only did he use it liberally at our house that morning, he boasted the fact that he imparted this newly gained insight to his friends at camp later in the day. Not my proudest moment as a mom. But when I went to sign him out that afternoon, my embarrassment grew. His teacher informed me that Max explained his dad had taught him that at home. Now I am just glowing with pride!

Lesson #85

Don't pee in the dark

This is a lesson I really learned the hard way.

I am a very light sleeper. Once I am awakened in the night, it can be very difficult for me to fall back to sleep. With each newborn baby we brought home, I would try anything I could think of to limit my time awake during each night feeding. Now that we are well out of the baby stage, you would think that the middle of the night disruptions would have come to an end. Not in the case of my two boys.

On any given night, I am typically wakened by one or both of my boys between 1-4 times. Whether it is wetting the bed, needing a drink of water, hearing thunder or falling out of the bed, I am called out of my peaceful slumber to head upstairs and tend to some need.

After Miles cried out for water at 1:45, I got a nice stretch of sleep. But Max came down at 5:15 after wetting the bed. After getting his sheets changed, in the dark to try to prevent myself from fully waking up, I got back in bed. Alas, at 5:40, Miles was wandering the halls upstairs. He sought help in his older brother's room. Max then cam down urgently telling me that Miles needed to potty. I intercepted Miles and escorted him quickly into our little hall bathroom. In an attempt to keep us both in a sleepy haze, I left the lights off. I assisted him in standing to potty only to hear him say, "poop."

"Oh, you need to poop," I asked?

"No, I poopy already mommy," he replied.

And that he did. There was a great mess of poop all over the inside of his PJs and legs. That is what I get for attempting to salvage any hopes for a return to bed. At the risk of subjecting readers to the graphic nature of this bathroom visit, I'll just say that the cleanup was a two person job.

Lesson #84

Don't take it personally

I am definitely a people pleaser. It is just part of my personality. I have always possessed the need to be liked by others. To a certain extent, this can be a good thing. But this trait also has some major downfalls. For example, I tend to take things personally and can be very sensitive to the opinions of others.

As a mom, many of my personality traits have shifted to a degree. My perfectionistic nature has softened in the midst of messy kids, never ending laundry and an unending to-do list. My spontaneous streak, once non-existent, has really brightened. When it comes to my need for approval from others...I am still trying to adapt.

Kids can be harsh critics. They don't tend to hold anything back, especially very young kids. They won't hesitate to tell you that they "hate" the clothes you picked out or to disapprove of your artwork. As a passionate cook and baker, I have always taken pride in creating delicious dinners. The arrival of my three kids into the world has put a little bit of a snag into my meal planning. But I still strive to change up the menu, making tasty and nutritious meals.

After a long day of chasing kids, doing laundry, wiping butts and cleaning up, cooking takes my last bit of energy. Sometimes I flat out despise the thought of cooking. So when I manage to pull something together that I think tastes pretty great, there is nothing more defeating than harsh criticism from 3 out of 5 taste testers. "I no like this. This tastes terrible. I hate potatoes. Don't you know I can't eat this? This smells disgusting!"

You name it, I have heard it. Now, this doesn't happen every night. In fact, it probably happens less than half of the time. But when I am at the end of my rope, exhausted and hungry, nothing crushes the spirit like a negative review from my number one fans.

When I think about it logically, I know they aren't trying to hurt my feelings. They will one day appreciate all that I do for them and even want to come home from college just to eat my yummy meals. I try to keep this in mind as I watch my two-year-old spit out the labor of love I have put on his plate.