Lesson #46

Life goes on without me

Every time we leave the kids for more than just a few hours, I naturally think about how they will feel with me not around. I worry about Miles waking up and calling my name. I worry about whether or not they can trust that we will be back. I worry about them sleeping well, eating well and not feeling sad that we are not here. We are lucky enough to have great people in our lives to watch our kids when we do leave town, but I still manage to worry to some extent.

As much as I love to feel wanted and needed, there is no better feeling than calling home and hearing happiness in their voices despite my absence. While away this weekend, the sitter sent numerous photos and videos, sharing all of the fun activities from the weekend. Not once did I hear fear, sadness or anxiety in their words. they were happy and content in my absence. The kids engaged in their normal routines, even fitting in hockey, swimming lessons and camp. They went about their normal weekend routine feeling loved and cared for.

It is a little reminder that life does go on without me and that things can go pretty smoothly without me at the helm of the ship. But it is still good to come home to open arms and hearing the words, "Don't go on any more trips without us please."

Lesson #45

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

I won't lie. I had been looking forward to a kid-free vacation for weeks. Taking off for Florida with my husband and some old friends kept me going through the last rough weeks of potty training and screaming kids. I had no problem letting go and getting into the swing of vacation mode the minute we hit the airport. But as always, there is a sadness and emptiness that hovers a little bit even during the best parts of the trip.

Being away from my kids for even a few days teaches me a lot about what is most important in life. Vacation would not be as much fun or relaxing if I didn't have three special people missing me at home. I can hear it in their happy little voices when we talk on the phone. They fill me in about all of the funny, sneaky things they are doing with the babysitter. From Miles pooping in the yard to sneaking down after bed time to steal the iPad for after hours use, there was never a dull moment during our time away. And as much as I enjoy lounging at the beach, enjoying cocktails and plenty of dancing, there is no place I would rather return than home with Max, Zoey and Miles.

Lesson #44

Marriage made stronger with kids

People make the decision to have kids for a number of reasons. Some people hope it will make a marriage stronger while others are seeking to add fulfillment to their lives. Children definitely change the dynamics of a husband and wife pairing. Sometimes it adds a strain and other times it deepens a bond between man and wife.

When we started trying to have Max, all I cared about was being a mom. I didn't really think about the impact parenthood would have on our marriage. As I look back at the past ten years on our anniversary, I can say without a doubt that our three kids have only strengthened our relationship. When I look at our children, I see the best of my husband. Our marriage has never been better and I know that raising our kids together, tackling all of the challenges and celebrating all of their milestones has only enhanced our partnership and love. 

Lesson #43

Road rage is contagious

I am not a very patient driver. I am not a very patient person in general to be honest. If there is one thing I am not good at, it is waiting. I don't like wasting time and have little tolerance for people who make me late. This isn't one of my best qualities. One of the places I really struggle with patience is in the car. I try to manage my frustration but inevitably, the kids pick up on my irritation when people are not driving as well as I am.

Today, on the way to camp drop off, the person in front of me was very hesitant to take his left turn. We waited and waited for him to make a move, meanwhile missing our light. I think I might have said, "go!" under my breath at one point. Just as the guy was starting to turn, Max yelled, "You idiot!"

I was shocked! This is not a word we use in our house at all! But I know it wasn't even the word itself that bothered me. It was the fact that Max had no patience for waiting on this guy to turn. I know that he has picked up on that from driving around with me for the past six years. This isn't the first time he has commented on another driver's inability to live up to my expectations. Over a year ago, he yelled to a woman, "You need to go to driving school," as our window was down. Not my proudest moment as a parent.

I certainly do not want my kids to grow up to be angry drivers. But more importantly, I do not want them to inherit my low threshold of patience for other people. Life is to short to worry about being a few minutes late. I really need to stop myself and take a deep breath the next time I find myself feeling aggravated by other people on the road.

Lesson #42

The best way to make food appetizing to a toddler is to give it to someone else

I try really hard to raise flexible eaters. I do not want to have picky kids that only eat familiar foods. I know this is somewhat out of my control but I still do the best I can to introduce new things. I refuse to make individual meals and always expect them to at least try each item on the plate. Max and Zoey have always been pretty good at trying new things. Miles is really starting to throw me for a loop. This two-year-old can be really finicky. It is hard to get him to eat grains and most meat items. I am always trying to get enough protein into his diet.

One really neat trick Miles has been pulling lately is stealing from Zoey's place setting. Not only does he thieve her utensils, he will snag food right off her plate, even if he has the same food in front of him. This morning, Miles at all of his peach but wanted nothing to do with the mini peanut butter pancake sandwiches I made.

I was too busy to force the issue and hoped he would eat a few more bites if I set them aside. We were all about ready to leave the house and Zoey picked up one of Miles' pancake creations. No sooner did she have the sandwich in her mouth did Miles start yelling that it was his. I let her have half and he then proceeded to scarf down the other half as well as another whole one.

At least I have a new food strategy.

Lesson #41
The sibling bond is unbreakable, no matter how weak it can seem at times

I am a very lucky girl. I have an older brother and younger sister to whom I am very close. We weren't always that way. My sister and I were definitely not the best of friends as she always seemed too young to be cool. At four years my junior, we never had much in common until she went to college. My brother and I were always close as kids and have managed to maintain a very good relationship, traveling across the state for visits several times each year. With my own three kids less than two years apart from one another, I have always hoped for the same type of relationship between them. They fight like animals a good majority of the time but they often give my glimpses of how much they truly love each other.

Yesterday, after Miles fell bouncing on his brother's bed, Max came running to get me. He was very concerned and visibly shaken by the blood gushing from his little brother's nose. He was pretty scared. Once Miles calmed down, Max was right there, asking if he was okay and telling him not to be sad. It was such a sweet moment.

Max can often get annoyed by his little sister. She tends to play the role of his shadow, wanting to do everything he is doing. Today when I dropped them off at camp, Zoey's enthusiasm quickly shifted to anxiety. She was scared to go in, holding up the carpool line. Max was so sweet, grabbing her by the hand and saying, "Let's go Zoey. This is what you have been waiting for."

In the midst of this crazy summer of fights, bloody noses and general chaos, it is endearing to see such loving moments between these kiddos. It can be easy to get frustrated by the day-to-day insanity of the tattling and arguing. But these are the moments that put it all into perspective.

Lesson #40

Poop victory--the sweet smell of success!

TMI warning!
Day three of potty training has proven to been the highlight of the weekend! After a pooping fail in the playhouse on day one, I thought Miles would be scarred for life. He forced himself into a pooping standoff all day yesterday. I just knew we were in for something disastrous from the kid that is as regular as coffee chugging truck driver. I was on the edge of my seat, nervous about when and where he would be overcome by the urge to go. By the time we were out and about this morning, I was pretty anxious about how this would all come out in the end. I knew we were in for something when he started complaining that his belly hurt.

We got home from church and errands with a very upset little man. He kept getting on and off the potty, terrified about what was going to happen. But crouched down on the floor, inches from the toilet, I managed to coax him through this triumphant moment with seven verses of Old McDonald. By the time this farmer had a gorilla, we had hurdled the pooping challenge. I wasn't sure what he would think when he stood up but Miles simply asked, "What is that?"

"That is your poop," I said. And the rest is potty training history!