Lesson #39
Be calm in an emergency...even when you are freaking out inside

Go ahead and call in my name as a nomination for mom of the year. Who had the police and firemen show up at her house to free her two-year-old from a locked bathroom? This girl!

This is definitely not one of my proudest moments as a mom. In the midst of some pretty intense potty training, I managed to create a scary situation for Miles. We had made it over the hump of multiple accidents each hour. I was feeling pretty good about things. Miles had just gone potty without any trace of accidental leakage. I was feeling great about this little victory. He insisted on flushing the potty as I walked back into my bedroom to finish putting laundry away. He then closed the door to keep flushing. I thin here, "Uh oh, mommy. I locked in."

I went to the door and tried to instruct him to pull down the lever harder to pop the lock open. That did not work. I was calm and told him I was going to get a key. I ran quietly to get a few small screwdrivers and proceeded to disengage the lock pretty quickly. Now the lever was moving but the door was still not opening. I really started to get nervous but kept trying. Miles was pretty calm through this all. As luck would have it, I was home alone. I called our neighbor to come help and felt like we for sure could get this door open. No such luck. After about 15 minutes of trying, we had only managed to get part of the door handle off the door. I was definitely worried and Miles was getting really upset. I had already exhausted a few books I slid under the door and several reeces pieces. This worked for a while but now Miles was really scared and crying. My neighbor suggested a locksmith but I knew Miles could not wait 2 hours to get out. I then called 911. When the operator asked for my name I almost jocking replied, "mom of the year." I opted against this attempt to lighten up the situation as I was afraid she might not take it very seriously.

The friendly police officer arrived just in time for Miles to really be crying, shoving out the candy and chips that were small enough to fit under the door. "I not want candy...I want momma."

I started to tear up and felt terrible that I could not comfort my son. I tried to keep a happy voice and kept telling him how cool it was that the police officer was helping us fix the door. The whole process took about 25 minutes, but the officer was finally able to get the door handle complete off and open the door. I swept Miles up and hugged him. He calmed down immediately. He was even able to wave at the fire engine just as it arrived and left from our house.

I was shaken for the next few hours. But on the way to get lunch, I looked back to see Miles happily looking at his book as if nothing had happened. I realized in that moment that he had already forgotten about the whole incident. The entire time he was in the bathroom he was mainly calm. It was just the last ten minutes that he was really scared. I feel like I did my best to put my emotions aside and to make sure he did not think there was anything to be upset about. That was the only thing that kept me from really losing it.

Lesson #38

Patience is not my best attribute

My patience is really getting a push today as I embark on my last potty training adventure. I have seen the date on the calendar and have looked forward to it with enthusiasm and dread at the same time. Miles is the last of the three to tackle this milestone. I am so ready to be free from the chains of diapers and everything that goes along with them. But I also know that the next 72 hours are going to be rough.

I think the hardest part of this process is staying home without any outings planned. Apparently, it will be just as hard for the other kids. When I warned Max that we would be home to potty train he was shocked!. "wait, you mean we are going anywhere or doing anything all day?"

I was very optimistic as the morning started. He stayed dry for 90 minutes. But things quickly changed with multiple underwear changes and several false alarms. Trying to juggle laying with everyone while not letting Miles out of my sight has been exhausting. I looked at the clock at one point and it was only 10:30. I thought I might pull out my hair.

All is quiet now as it is nap time. I have a bit of a break. As I look back at the stressful morning, I see how well Max and Zoey have handled the whole thing. Without being prompted, they both made a huge deal about Miles wearing underwear, cheering him on about being a big boy. Max asked Miles to watch him go potty to learn how it is done and Zoey made up her own potty dance to encourage his tiny victories.

I am hopeful that the afternoon will be a littl easier. Progress has been made and I know it will get better with each day. At least I have a small team of coaches on my side!

Lesson #37

Lead by example

I am not really an animal person. I mean, I love dogs, but that is about it. I am not one to venture out and pet animals at the zoo or want to feed goats on a field trip with the kids. Strangely enough, my kids did not inherit my indifference to wild animals.

We went on a little adventure to Grant's Farm today. The kids love seeing all of the animals up close and enjoy feeding the goats with the baby bottles. We have done this a number of times over the years. But today, we tried something new. The friends we were with invited us to go into the bird cage to feed the parakeets. When it comes to flying creatures, I am particularly skittish. I do not like the idea of being pooped on or having little talons wrap around my fingers. My kids were actually not opposed to any of these possibilities. They each got a popsicle stick with bird food on the end. The birds were not shy about landing on your hand or your head for that matter. Max, the normally brave six-year-old, was actually a little freaked out. He really wanted the bird to land on his head in theory but any time one got near, he jumped and screamed. Reluctantly, I showed him how NOT scary the birds were, luring them onto my own hand with their food. After several minutes, he was confident enough to allow a bird to perch on his head.

I definitely felt disgusting after this venture but had a very happy kid. Max was so pumped about the bird on his head. He wanted to call his dad immediately and we of course had to send a picture. Did I enjoy interacting with these feathered friends? Absolutely not! But I do not want to sway my impressionable kids against something they might really enjoy in order to avoid something I do not like.

Lesson #36

When in doubt, play dumb

I never claim to be the mom that has it all together. I claim a victory when we all get out there door on time, avoid any major melt downs in public and make it home in the same clothing we left wearing. I am not afraid about taking all three kids on long outings. I prefer a day when we are gone by 8:00 am and home just in time for naps at 1:00 pm. Today that was definitely my plan. But when we arrived at the gym at 8:20, just in time to drop off at child care and make it to stretch, my day hit a snag. Why did Miles have only one shoe?

I had a few options before me:
1. Run home to get the shoe and be a few minutes late for my class.
2. Let him go without a shoe at the gym and race home before meeting my friend at a local coffee shop/play place. I would have definitely been late to this.
3. Play dumb about the missing shoe to anyone pointing out, "Hey, did you know your kid is missing a shoe?"

I decided to go with option #3. I would venture to say that at least 8 people pointed out the missing shoe. We hit the gym, played and sipped coffee at The Nest, returned items and shopped at Wal Mart (not really out of place without shoes here), then even dined out at a very casual neighborhood restaurant. Not my best showing but I feel like I enjoyed the day, as well as the kids, without really sacrificing anything! No regrets!!!!

Lesson #35

One day I will miss my shadow

Summer is here and that means a lot of things to a stay at home mom of three. I am blessed and cursed with the constant presence of my three little ones for the next three months. I have been busy planning a variety of fun activities that we often miss during the busy school year. We do have a lot of fun but I am quickly slapped in the face with the reality of very little alone time. Sure, my two youngest still nap. That does give me a little down time. But my six-year-old is always present, seeking my undivided attention when he sees the opportunity.

This is the second full week of summer and I am starting to remember what it is like to never be by myself. I cannot leave the room for more than five seconds without hearing little feet running behind me. There is no escape. I head for the bathroom and the door is pushed open. I go to find my shoes and Miles is crying, "Where are you mama?"

Today has been especially rough. We are normally out and about by 8:00 as the sheer volume level of the house is enough to have me gathering the troops to do something to stay busy. Our big plan today was strawberry picking which meant staying home until after 9:00. I was seriously about to pull out my hair as I could not even make a phone call or pay a single bill. The was nowhere to hide.


Every time I find myself thoroughly annoyed, I try to remember that in a few short years, there won't be anyone lagging behind me around the house as I try to get things done. The kids will all be in school and I am sure that I will feel pretty lonely once all of my house duties and errands are done without interruption. I need to try to keep that in perspective.

Lesson #34

Make new friends and keep the old

I am pretty lucky in the fact that I have six close friends from college that still live here in the area. We try to get together as a group once every six weeks and often see each other individually or in small groups in between then. It is really easy to be comfortable in this bubble of friends but it is also important to embrace new relationships. I am trying to follow the example my kids demonstrate in the way that they so easily warm up to others.

We went to the park today and met up with one of my college girlfriends and her two daughters. Max was a little upset that we weren't meeting any of his friends but quickly forgot is disappointment. Within minutes, he had befriended a boy around his age. The two were inseparable for the rest of the morning. As happy as Max was to meet this new friend, he was still inclusive of his little brother, pulling him into their wild antics of chase and monster. I love how socially brave Max is. He just jumps right in and engages with any willing participant. He just needs to work on his approach a little. Once we got home, Zoey was asking what his friend's name was. Max admitted he never asked. He casually explained that he just called him "Dude. That is what you do when you don't know someone's name."

                         I love that Max is still willing to include his little brother even with friends around!

Lesson #33

Take pride in yourself

I am a pretty confident person but I definitely have my own insecurities. I can be competitive and I am known to be a perfectionist but when it comes to accepting compliments, I tend to struggle. Thinking about the typical job interview question, "What are your best traits?" I never like to talk about my best qualities. Despite my own reservations about taking pride in myself, I work very hard at instilling this quality in my kids. Today, I really stopped and tried to take a lesson from my oldest
son Max.

My six-year-old came bounding in the door from his baseball game, raving about his own performance. He was so excited to tell me about his strong hits and getting another player out. He had a huge smile on his face and was very proud of his performance. I of course praised him and encouraged him to keep playing his hardest. I think about my own accomplishments and realize that I would never toot my own horn about a job well done. There is definitely a thin line between pride and arrogance. This is something we are careful with in teaching our kids. But today, it was me taking a lesson and making a point to take my own advice to heart.